Mel HarrisonToday I reflect on this special day, it means a lot to me being a person with significant disabilities, but also working for a disability organisation but also now that i am starting to speak and write about my own personal journey.
I have lived with my main disability for almost 23 years and sometimes I forget just how far I have come. A few months ago I read my poetry book, which has poems I wrote between the ages of 16 and 20. While I was reading these poems I had tears in my eyes as I was taken back to some very painful times in my life, but I am also so happy now that I am not in those moments anymore, and I know that would not be the case if I had not had some amazing people in my life, but also if I had not kept ‘reaching higher”..
We all go through hard times in life and sometimes it is good just to sit back, reflect and acknowledge that it is okay, and that is why we are who we are today.
Here is one of my poems I wrote at the age of seventeen. Hope you enjoy.
Small little girl
lost in the world
lost in her pain
where memories are held
She sits down
never standing free
she wants the life
as it used to be
Reaching stretching out
for the hand to hold
her heart used to be warm
now its frozen, its cold
Cant trust a soul
cant live here
friends, love, home
inside i fear
Insecure, frozen
of who I am now
questions in my head
asking how?
Belief that I am evil
belief that I am sin
only vanishes
with a shot of gin
Want to scream
want to cry
want to take a drug
so i can die
I’ve lived too long
it’s my time to go
telling people
they all say no
My body is still here
I pinch it so i know
my soul has left
and wants to go
I want the chance
to say goodbye
to the life i had
but it died
Why it was taken from me
I may never know
but I know inside, my hate
is going to grow
The small little girl
is a crazy 17 year old
who lives for herself
not by what she is told
She’s changed alot
since the wheelchair came
though the walking is gone
the feelings are still part of life’s game
Need a hug
off my teddy bear
cause that teddy bear
will always be there
The small little girl
is scared of living
she is not good at receiving
but she is good at giving
Her legs took her happiness
confidence and heart
now she is left with her world
that was her’s shattering apart.
Keeping reaching higher everyone, things can get better then.
Keep following my journey
#sittinglowreachinghigh #inspiretobreakthrough #inspire #educate #facilitate #motivationalspeaking #Internationaldayofpeoplewithdisability2018